


jeonghan (he really was the most beautiful)

by luvsqian



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Domestic Violence, Friends to Lovers, I dont know how to tag, i guess i got real emo one night, past lover seungcheol, this is really old and not that good dont hunt me down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 17:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16202261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvsqian/pseuds/luvsqian
Summary: “i met him at the local bar a few blocks away.”yoon jeonghan was hong jisoo’s favorite hello and hardest goodbye.his beginning and end.





	jeonghan (he really was the most beautiful)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever work on ao3! i’m gonna be honest, this is completely terrifying. this story is one that i wrote a long long time ago. i KNOW that it is absolutely horrendous and if you hate it then i’m incredibly sorry. i hope you’ll maybe choose to stick around anyway. if you love it, however, please let me know by leaving a comment or kudos! i would really appreciate it :-) i really hope you enjoy!!

i met him at the local bar a few blocks away.

 

i cant remember what about him caught my eye. maybe it was the way his hair fell into his eyes and cast small shadows on his beautiful pale skinned face in the already dim bar light. or perhaps it was the way he could brighten up any room with only one smile.

 

he was beautiful. truly fitting to the very definition of the word. everything about him took my breath right away. just looking at him made all the words on the tip of my tongue get jumbled up and not come out right.

 

when i found the guts to approach him on that lonely barstool with an empty glass in front of him, my life changed completely.

 

i vividly remember the way he looked up and me and instantly smiled. he held out his hand and i gave him mine.

 

"jeonghan."

 

"jisoo."

 

and that was the beginning of the end.

 

i found myself going to that same bar every night i had the time. and i found that he was always there, waiting for me.

 

we got to know eachother. he told me about himself and i told him about me. i learned all about his family (a wealthy one who always supported him no matter what), his job (he was an aspiring musician), and even his best friend (lee jihoon, who i happened to know from highschool).

 

you could say we were pretty good friends. you could also say i was in love.

 

so when i walked into the bar one day to find his neck and arms bruised and his face lightly cut up I immediately began asking questions.

 

over and over again he told me not to worry, that he was okay but i wasn't blind.

 

i saw the slight grimace on his face when he moved his arm to take my hand in his. i saw the way he flinched when i brought my free hand up to brush the hair off of his face so i could see the small gash on his forehead.

 

"you're not okay jeonghan." i squeezed the hand i was still holding. "tell me what happened. let me help you."

 

he looked down at his lap and fiddled with his finger nails. he took a deep breath and looked up again.

 

he told me everything.

 

i saw heavy tears well up in his eyes.

 

there was a part of his life he hadn't told me about.

 

he had a boyfriend.

 

his name was seuncheol. choi seungcheol. they had gotten into a fight and he did this to him. he beat him and choked him and even took advantage of him but jeonghan still loved him.

 

there were so many stories he shared that night. stories of a beautiful and ever growing love between the two. memories of late night cuddles under the light of the stars, and afternoons spent roaming the streets hand in hand without a destination in mind.

 

and he shared it all with a smile.

 

a few days passed. i continued going back to the bar and jeonghan seemed to get better and better everyday. his wounds healed and no new ones appeared. his smile slowly started to come back and we flowed back into our usual conversations.

 

so you can imagine my surprise when he wasn't at the bar when i got there.

 

having no way to contact him, i chose to stay regardless and enjoy a beer.

 

alone.

 

an hour had passed and still there was no sign of the beautiful blonde. with a short sigh i left some bills on the counter for the bartender then stood up and made my way towards the exit of the bar.

 

the door flew open - nearly hitting me - and finally, finally, jeonghan had come.

 

he was sporting an angry black eye and he seemed to be limping slightly. he collapsed in my arms, his body shaking involuntarily as sobs wracked his body. he gripped my button down shirt tightly and buried his head in my chest. my arms instinctively wrapped around him.

 

"jeonghan? shit baby, shhh it's okay. tell me what happened. what happened love?" i mumbled sweetly while stroking his head gently.

 

he hiccuped a few times. "h-he... hit me and-and... i j-just sat and t-took it and..." he suddenly stopped talking (read: stuttering) and looked up at me. his eyes were red and puffy from crying so much and although there were ugly bruises all over, he was still the most beautiful human i had ever seen.

 

"jisoo... jisoo, run away with me. away from this city, away from these people, away from all of it lets just go and live away from all of this shit-"

 

"jeonghan you're not thinking straight. let me get you back home and then-"

 

"no!" he cried suddenly, snaking his arms up around my neck. "i can't stay here anymore! i can't do it, i can't. i'm leaving with or without you."

 

i sighed softly. "jeonghan... okay."

 

he looked up at me and sniffled. "okay?"

 

i nodded. "okay. i'll leave with you."

 

his eyes widened and his beautiful smile made it's way onto his face. "thank you. thank you so much."

 

and with those words he stood on his tiptoes and our lips connected in a first kiss that spoke a million words that we could both never properly articulate.

 

-

 

“welcome to incheon international airport!”

 

hand in hand we walked out of the large building, both of us with large suitcases trailing behind and backpacks on our backs. we had made it to our destination.

 

jeonghan took a deep breath beside me, successfully catching my attention. noticing my gaze on him he gave me a lopsided, but reassuring, grin.

 

"i haven't breathed seoul air in a long time." he said in perfect korean.

 

"oh so we're switching to korean now?" i asked while swaying our hands between us.

 

"i guess so." he shrugged and his grin somehow grew wider.

 

we quickly hailed a taxi and went to the hotel we had booked. we decided ahead of time that we would stay in a hotel while we looked for an apartment.

 

that's right. we decided moving in together was the best idea right now. quite frankly i don't know how to feel about it.

 

i spent a good deal of time on the plane thinking. am i just a rebound to him? will he ever love me the way i love him?

 

endless questions i could never have the answers to flowed in and out of my head and i suddenly forgot why i was here in the first place.

 

but then as if he could read my mind, jeonghan woke up from his nap and took my hand in his. he squeezed it gently, reassuringly, as if he somehow knew that i really needed it.

 

when we finally arrived at the hotel i was slightly overwhelmed by how beautiful the building was. just the lobby had some of the nicest decoration and furniture i had ever seen. i hoped the room was just as nice.

 

boy was i definitely not disappointed.

 

we were on the top floor of the hotel. the entire top floor. the hotel room was more like hotel apartment.

 

it only had one bedroom, but it made up for that fact with two bathrooms, an infinity pool overlooking seoul, and a hell of a lot of floor space.

 

"this place is amazing!" jeonghan cried in awe as he wandered around the room.

 

the look on his face was so breathtakingly adorable i couldn't help the goofy grin that forced its way onto my face. i yawned.

 

"i think i'm gonna go take a nap. all that traveling really has me drained." i told him while stretching.

 

he peeked his head out from around the corner leading to the mini kitchen and smiled at me. "i'll join you in a bit, i wanna do something first."

 

and with that i saluted him and headed off to bed.

 

—

Seoul, 5 Months Later

 

i woke up to the most beautiful sight in the world. my stunning boyfriend tucked in my arms with his head resting against my inner shoulder, his breath fanning my chest, and his hair flopping over his eyes cutely.

 

i kissed the top of his head hugged him tighter to me. "baby. it's time to wake up." i cooed. he only groaned in response and closed his eyes tighter.

 

"hannie~ wake up." i nudged him.

 

"five more minutes..!" he whined.

 

i chuckled and released him before rolling out of bed. he muttered something about a lack of warmth but soon slowly got up too.

 

i leaned over and kissed him softly before wordlessly padding to the kitchen to make breakfast.

 

—

 

i could tell something was off the minute he sat down at our small dining room table. he just had this look. i knew something was wrong but im not sure that i wanted to know what it was.

 

i brushed it off and we ate and chatted about our day as we usually did.

 

suddenly jeonghan put his fork down. "shua?"

 

i looked up from my plate. "yes baby?"

 

"i have something kinda important to tell you..." he started. i nodded for him to continue. i braced for the worst. "i uh... i saw seungcheol today." he said all in one breath.

 

i dropped my fork, my facial expression suddenly angry. "how the hell did he find out where you are?" i growled.

 

"i-i dont know... but he did and he apologized to me and i... well i forgave him." he told me, tears welling up in his eyes.

 

i called him over to my side of the table and he stood up and obliged, sitting on my lap. i wiped the tears from his eyes and kissed his nose. "i told myself i would never see let you cry over him again. so don't cry baby. it's okay. you'll be okay. we'll be okay." i murmured into his shoulder.

 

i really hope those words are true.

 

-

Seoul, Two Weeks Later

 

this is it. the last time i'm going to see jeonghan for possibly a very, very long time.

 

we were back where out big adventure started, at incheon airport. but this time with one more person.

 

-

"jisoo... i've been thinking."

 

i continued playing with his hair. "about what baby?"

 

"seungcheol." he answered honestly.

 

my eyebrows shot up but i tried to suppress my surprise and mild anger. "what about him?" i asked quietly, not sure if i really wanted to know the answer.

 

"shua... i still love him."

 

i nearly fell out of bed. "y-you what?"

 

"i'm still in love with him jisoo!" he cried, exasperated. he suddenly stood up and began pacing the room while tugging at his hair. "i dont know what to do shua. i really dont."

 

i exploded. "what the hell do you mean you dont know what to do? you're in love with someone who mercilessly beat you! twice! what about me, huh jeonghan? am i just the rebound to take your mind off that dick? was that all i ever was to you?!"

 

"you were more jisoo... you-"

 

"then how could you still possibly love him? i love you damnit! all i want is to fucking love you!"

 

"well maybe i never truly loved you!" he cried.

 

i froze. i put my head down slightly and it felt like a weight of a thousand pounds just fell on my shoulders. this is it. i never meant anything to this man. but he meant the world and more to me.

 

"then maybe you should just leave."

 

-

and thats what he did.

 

he left and he met with seungcheol and they rekindled their love, i guess. he told me over text. "im leaving." it said. "im going back home."

 

the word home hurt. i thought our place was home to him. i thought maybe even i was home to him.

 

i thought wrong i guess. because when he walked up to that airport gate hand in hand with his new, or should i say old, lover i felt nothing but love radiating from them.

 

and it hurt like hell.

 

he turned to cast me one last glance. in his eyes i saw pity. i saw pity and sadness. but clouding all that was love, and lots of it, for the man beside him.

 

and i could never be that man.

 

"i love you." i mouthed. his eyes darkened with guilt.

 

"goodbye." he mouthed back.

 

and with that i went home and cried in a bed that still smelled like the lover who i let slip through my fingers.

 

—

Seoul, A Year Later

 

i never moved on. i remain in seoul, still living in the apartment we bought, still using the furniture he picked out, still admiring the things that belonged to him.

 

still loving him.

 

it’s stupid really, me not being able to move on. but something keeps me in this tiny apartment that tore me apart every time i walk in. something keeps me broken inside.

 

i got an invite in the mail today. an invitation to their wedding. him and seungcheol. seungcheol and him.

 

i'm happy for him. i'm happy because he's happy. all i want is for him to be smiling because when he smiles, he glows and lights up a room.

 

i'm sad though. i won't be able to attend the happiest day of his life. in fact, instead of actually rsvp-ing, i wrote a little something for him on the rsvp card.

 

hi hannie,

 

i suppose it’s been far too long for such nicknames. i'm sorry i wont be able to attend your wedding. i'm sure you'll have the night of your life and have fun without me. i wish you and your seungcheol nothing but happiness. i mean it. i hope you live out the rest of your days with nothing less than the brightest smile on your face. congratulations. i'll see you when i see you.

 

i love you very, very much.

 

all the best,

hong jisoo

 

and with that i sealed the letter, put a stamp on it, and put the letter in the mail box.

 

sobs wracked my body as i swallowed the handful of pills. even in my final moments my thoughts contained only one thing.

 

jeonghan.

 

-

**Author's Note:**

> hello again! congrats, you made it to the end! if you enjoyed, you can catch me on twitter at 96pjj where i will (read: probably wont actually find the time to) be creating social media based aus :-)


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